Pam Bubrzycki- Play your part in the DV battle

As we approach the festive season, thousands of mothers around WA are carefully selecting gifts to pack into their child’s Santa stocking.

Some of those same women are also secretively packing essential items into discreetly hidden bags that they can grab, along with their precious children, if they need to flee the house in a hurry.

Christmas is indeed upon us, and alongside the joy and cheer, for some, will come the stress and other triggers that will put some women and children at a higher risk of physical harm than at any other time of the year.

As we approach the festive season, perpetrators of family and domestic violence (FDV) are spending more time at home.

Children of these perpetrators are also at increased risk as they are out of their usual routine with less eyes on them as schools and sporting clubs are also closed.

Money is tight and there are less crisis services and safe spaces open for women who need to grab that backpack and escape.

Danger amid the joy

The appeals and warnings from police, from doctors, from Ministers, to take care, to be sensible, to stay safe, have already come.

These appeals and warning are not misplaced or exaggerated.

The most cursory of glances at the line graphs on WA Police crime statistics pages reveals a big spike in FDV offences in December. Year after year after year.

Last December there were 3,370 reported FDV offences in WA, which was 18% higher than then 2,847 FDV offences reported in the November (the next highest month).

After the horror of 2023 which has seen nearly 60 women murdered by male partners and ex-partners across Australia, we are all concerned what this Christmas and New Year will bring.

The 16 Days in WA campaign has finished, but its message – Play Your Part – is now more relevant than ever.

Now is when we all need to pay attention and take steps to make sure the women and children in our lives and communities are kept safe.

Play your part, rethink alcohol

One of the biggest ways you can play your part is around alcohol, which is a factor in so many FDV offences. At this time of year, many of us are drinking more often and more than usual.

Reflect on this time last year. Did alcohol affect your behaviour in a negative way? If so, think about choosing not to drink this year.

If you are hosting an event serve low or mid-strength alcohol only and use this choice to start a conversation on alcohol and FDV. Make it clear you are setting an example.

Keep an eye on your mates. Has someone had too much? Cut them off and get them on the waters and softies.

Has someone become a little too argumentative? Think about whether that mate should be sent home in that state or sent to your couch to sleep it off.

Some of you may be thinking “No one I know has a problem holding their drink. No one I know would go home and abuse or harm their partner”.

The statistics tell a different story – remember that 1 in 6 Australian women have experienced physical or sexual violence since the age of 15.

So please, consider that you may not know what goes on behind the front door of your mate’s house and make a different choice around alcohol this year.

Provide a safe space

Some of you might already suspect that all is not well in the home of a neighbour, a friend or family member. If you have concerns for a woman’s safety, find a way to let them know they are safe with you. Women are safest when they have somewhere safe to go.

Trust me, as she is packing that bag, she is making a mental list of places she can go. While crisis accommodation will be on that list, the reality is that the demand for these services is so high they cannot support everyone. Trusted friends are needed now.

Let them know that, should they turn up on your doorstep, they will not be judged, neither for leaving, nor for returning. Let them know your support continues once the Christmas decorations come down.

The next fortnight is going to be tough for many, many people.

Police officers, ambulance officers, hospital staff and the new FDV Response Teams will be stretched beyond their capacity. Women and children will be desperately navigating tense and terrible situations.

Wherever you can, however you can, play your part to keep them safe.

We can’t lose any more women. We just can’t.